Vulture’s 2022 Holiday Gift Guide

During the last few months of the year, Midnights has completely taken over. For the Swiftie who seems to have every piece of official merch, buying a fan-inspired shirt or tote seems to be the way to go. Mustard Yard Press has a ton of original T.S.-themed clothing, and this “Snow on the Beach” shirt mixes vintage comic book design in a subtle way. It’s more than enough for Swifties to recognize the design, but discreet enough to look like a cool graphic tee if you’re just casually. glancing at it. If “Snow on the Beach” isn’t your jam, the shop has designs for almost every song on Midnights. —Alejandra Gularte

Studio boxed sets usually offer a few greats interspersed among a host of lousy, filler-style movies. This one, issued in honor of Sony Pictures Classics’ 30th anniversary, actually has ten genuine bangers, including Crouching Tiger, Volver, Orlando, Call Me by Your Name, and Synecdoche, New York. —Bilge Ebiri

The miserable rich folks on The White Lotus drink approximately one cubic ton of Aperol Spritzes in season two. But your loved ones are not miserable rich folks, and they will have a much more fun time sipping on these cocktails. Maybe at New Year’s brunch? —Bethy Squires

Ask Ronna is not a podcast. It’s a lifestyle brand. And an LVMH executive–approved one, at that. If you want to give a very special loved one the gift of feeling like the Fanciest Person Alive, gift them something from the Ronnukah AR Holiday Market. This isn’t merch in the traditional sense; these classy booze-centric kits are curated (by Fiasco! Wine and Spirits in Brooklyn) to make the recipient *feel* like Ronna Glickman (Jessica Chaffin), the most aspirational fictional Jewish grandmother in Marblehead, Massachusetts. They also come with a ticket to drink alongside her and non-fictional cohost Bryan Safi at their December Virtual Kiki. It’s an immersive, indulgent splurge, but to a fan of the pod, it’s priceless. —Rebecca Alter

VHS isn’t the most stable of physical formats, but the wear and tear is part of its charm. The most-watched titles in my family’s collection growing up would warp and glitch out with tracking errors from repeat viewings, as though accruing evidence of our love on screen. The other day, I picked up a stooped VCR, and while I haven’t had time to see whether it works yet, if I were to get back into collecting movies on tape, I’d start with one of these limited-edition VHS copies of Andrew Bujalski’s 2002 mumblecore landmark, a low-budget ode to fumbling through your early 20s that’s its own artifact of another era. —Alison Willmore

If you’ve spent a great deal of time this year thinking about gossip and your relationship to it, you’re not alone. Blame Kelsey McKinney, the host of the funny and intensely compelling podcast Normal Gossip, for our new obsession. Now fans can signal to the world that they are down for talking some shit, with a long-sleeved tee featuring Normal Gossip logo art by Tara Jacoby. —Maris Kreizman

Get your favorite stoner some merch from America’s favorite stoner. Seth Rogen’s HousePlant brand of smoking accessories (and other home goods, but you know what you’re here for) now offers an official starter kit with rolling papers, a fancy lighter, and ashtray designed by Rogen. —Emily Palmer Heller

Gone but never forgotten, House of the Dragon’s resident hottie is forever immortalized in blanket form, and it made me choke. This is too funny — like, sure, you can also pick your favorite Targaryen war criminal from Daemon to Aemond to put on a blanket, but why not remember the sweet, beefed-up knight with bouncy curls, Ser Harwin Strong? He was the only man in the Red Keep to comfort Princess Rhaenyra, so he might as well comfort you too! —Savannah Salazar

Disney is finally having some fun with Star Wars now that the franchise is proving less profitable as a joyless slog. Celebrate everyone’s favorite Wookie holiday with this festive mug. Long live the original Star Wars Holiday Special, birthplace of Boba Fett and the only place Bea Arthur exists in the Star Wars canon. —Bethy Squires

You are bound to get two thumbs up for this gift. What could possibly be cooler than giving a loved one a T-shirt with a couple of film critics on it, especially ones who evoke such a specific time period (the 1980s and ’90s) in movie history? Before Rotten Tomatoes was even a seedling, these legends were your best guide. Who wouldn’t want to wear them proudly on their chest? —Maris Kreizman

Before he became international cinema’s best-known emotional sadist, Michael Haneke was … international cinema’s best-kept-secret emotional sadist. Criterion has put together the great director’s first three theatrical features, which certainly demonstrate his storied fascination with human weakness and cruelty but also offer evidence of his stylistic playfulness and formal rigor. Yes, giving a Michael Haneke boxed set to someone for the holidays is something a character in a Michael Haneke film might do — but that’s sort of what makes this a perfect gift. —Bilge Ebiri

Pickleball is everywhere else, so why not in a Vulture holiday gift guide? If you want to try the game that has turned Stephen Colbert and his good-natured celebrity pals into a merry band of paddle ambassadors — and you want to do so with wordplay involved — then this starter set from Big Dill will fit the bill. With two paddles, two balls, and a sleek carrying case, it’s everything you need to announce to the world (and Stephen Colbert?): well, here I am, ready to play pickleball. —Neil Janowitz

Wayne White is an artist who worked on Pee Wee’s Playhouse and the “Sledgehammer” video before transitioning into his very odd take on fine art. The documentary Beauty Is Embarrassing is a must-watch, and this 1,000-piece puzzle is a must-put-together. Perfect for childless aunts and White Elephant parties. —Bethy Squires

If you’re jonesing for more once you’ve finished playing all the Vulture crosswords, the folks at A24 have compiled a collection of 99 movie-themed puzzles from talented constructors (including the Vulture 10x10’s own Stella Zawistowski.) They run the gamut of difficulty — both puzzle difficulty and film-knowledge difficulty — with some clever themes that will make you go, Ohhh, I see what you did there. —Emily Palmer Heller

The only movie that matters is Twilight, and the only meme that matters is “Bella, where the hell have you been loca?” So this holiday season, why not commemorate both with the most iconic kind gift of all: an Etsy Christmas tree ornament. It’s handmade with wood, is five-star-reviewed, and even has a printed graphic of Taylor Lautner’s film face and wig on it. If you don’t buy the “Santa, where the hell have you been loca” ornament this December, the only one that’s gonna be loca … is you. —Wolfgang Ruth

For the investment bankers and/or people who love to hate investment bankers in your life, the purple Pierpoint & Co. sweatshirt from Industry is an iconic representation of our favorite company that avoids social progress at all cost. Ken Leung (who plays Eric on the show) told Vulture that his character wearing the sweatshirt was “like putting one of those hats with the little propeller on it in a horror movie,” so this is the perfect gift for anyone who wants to intimidate via cuteness. —Jason Frank

For decades, Shaw Brothers was the preeminent Hong Kong film studio, helping to popularize martial-arts films around the world. This second volume of Arrow’s collection of Shaw Brothers essentials — a ten-disc set loaded with extras — includes some of their most notable titles from the later years of the studio, including The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, Mercenaries From Hong Kong, and Martial Arts of Shaolin (the third entry in the Shaolin Temple series, which introduced the world to one Jet Li). —Bilge Ebiri

Is the person you’re dating a Swiftie? Do you want to impress them with your Taylor Swift lore knowledge? Look no further than the Tiffany necklace that Joe Alwyn gave to Swift for their anniversary, as heard about in the song “Call It What You Want.” Choose your initial on the pendant and give it to your partner. They’ll be surprised/excited by how much you know about Blondie, and it’s probably the same price as a ticket to her sold out tour. —Alejandra Gularte

Back in my day, we used to have to transform our own transformers. Now if you have an app — or a voice — you can command this Optimus robot to transform himself from a truck into any number of combat-ready poses, replete with booming voice and tell-tale Transformer beep-boops. From there, you can have him perform a variety of preset actions or program new sequences of your own. Want to see Optimus Prime do push-ups? (Hey, do you.) Just say so and he’ll hit the floor to give you five. He has to stay in shape for the Rise of the Beasts press tour anyway. —Neil Janowitz

Love him or (more likely) hate him, 26-year-old AEW World Champion Maxwell Jacob Friedman took the wrestling world by storm this year, and this festive sweatshirt is sure to be a hit with any Hanukkah-observing pro-wrestling fan on your list. And it’s 100-percent preshrunk cotton! —Anne Clark

In addition to kitschy-cool ceramics and tees, Rosehound Apparel has a line of mirrors in retro frames, hand-printed with cultural iconography like the Heathers title card, Sonny-era Cher, or Leo DiCaprio back when he was Timothée Chalamet. It’s a gift with personality and heart, especially if you know someone woman enough for the late Loretta Lynn’s portrait. —Zoë Haylock

Okay, yes, there are fewer and fewer needs for paperclips in the digital age. And yet chances are that there’s still a stack of documents somewhere in the giftee’s house that needs to be held together. That’s why these Oscar-shaped paperclips, which come from the Academy Museum in Los Angeles, make for a fun and practical little present. Plus it’s not like you can get ’em a real Oscar. Chances are you don’t have that kind of FYC money! —James Grebey