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House of the Dragon Recap: A Cozy Little Melee

House of the Dragon

The Lord of the Tides
Season 1 Episode 8
Editor’s Rating 3 stars

House of the Dragon

The Lord of the Tides
Season 1 Episode 8
Editor’s Rating 3 stars
Photo: HBO

Is Corlys dead or not? That’s the one mystery House of the Dragon is willing to preserve in this fast-paced eighth episode. Viserys has presumably departed this life; Vaemond undoubtedly so. What does the Sea Snake say to the god of death? Well, we’re not really sure, but the hubbub surrounding his potential demise has been enough to unsettle the entire monarchy (again), send Targaryens leaping from island to island (again), and gather the whole crew for one cozy little melee (again). May this recapper humbly recommend that the Targaryen and Velaryon families recognize that they are not the kind of kinfolk who can gather for a chit-chat and a glass of Dornish wine?

It’s been six long years (ahem, one episode) since the last Velaryon funeral, when one child lost an eye and several others lost their damn minds. Now, they’re gathering again, this time to contest or assert the succession of the heir to Driftmark, a title whose value and power we’ve been told about ad nauseum, though we’ve never really seen that strength in action. In “Driftmark,” Corlys assured Lucerys, his “natural-born” grandson, that the Driftwood Throne would pass to him, considering Laena’s death and Laenor’s then-current title as future King Consort. But now, while putting down yet another Triarchy uprising in the Stepstones, Corlys has suffered a slashed neck, a dip in the seas, and what sounds like septicemia. So what do his nearest and dearest do when informed that Corlys will arrive home, in desperate need of some nursing, in three days? Well, they sail off to King’s Landing to assert their stakes in his title and money.

After a note from Baela, Daemon and a seemingly pregnant Rhaenyra also depart for the halls of the Red Keep, which have been redecorated with the seven-pointed accoutrement of the church — faux devotion from the Hightowers, who are attempting a reputational rebrand. Nobody but Lord Caswell (whoever he may be) greets them, and in the Small Council meeting Alicent and Otto attend — where, in fact, they rule — the two have a little snicker at the message their absence has sent. The stakes may be high, but the tactics are low, low, low, the sad little political maneuverings of those who revel in their newfound power.

Once the masses descend on King’s Landing, the episode is a choppy one, with little scenes that pile on top of one another, each one desperate to advance a small plot point. Characters break off in twos or threes to conspire and plot, and repeatedly remind us that these two families are not so copacetic. It all leads to one central point: If Viserys is now a puppet, who gets to pull the strings?

For all her lesser qualities (see: demanding a child’s eye be plucked from his skull), Alicent is, as Rhaenyra eventually toasts her, a devoted and loyal wife. She administers Viserys’s wine, dabs at his mouth with a napkin, and doesn’t flinch at the view of glistening ligaments and meaty muscle visible through the rancid hole in his cheek. Viserys looks like a corpse — I couldn’t help but think of the Sire from What We Do in the Shadows, with his gnarly teeth and cottage-cheese pallor — already rotting, but not yet buried. But Alicent looks at him with tenderness in her eyes. She has also taken over his kingdom, runs it however she sees fit, and is blatantly furthering the interests of House Hightower and her shitty, shitty, shitty sons.

Rhaenyra has the moral upper hand, somehow, although she did arrange for the convenient disposal of her last husband, and she has abandoned her ailing father for six years to go have presumptively insane sex with her new husband/uncle. Like Alicent, her preferred method of manipulation is to appeal to the bond between herself and Viserys. Also like Alicent, she has a son named Aegon to waggle in front of her father; unlike Alicent, she’s thoughtfully (cunningly) named another son Viserys. Rhaenyra’s love for her father is real, but so is her recognition that he walks softly and carries a tiny stick. She can — and does — let his blindness to her faults, and their shared knowledge of the Song of Ice and Fire, infiltrate his judgment.

I gasped when Viserys walked into the throne room — partly because his decrepitude has reached such an advanced stage that it seems like a major mental feat for him to outwit his pain, and partly because Alicent’s face collapses into such spectacular grimaces and “oh shit” eye bulges. Donning the Jaime Lannister version of a Phantom of the Opera face mask, Viserys pronounces the expected judgment: the line of succession is settled and Lucerys ought to inherit Driftmark. He defers to Rhaenys’s judgment; cool character that she is, the princess reads the room and takes Rhaenyra up on her earlier offer to betroth Baela to Jace, and Rhaena to Luke. But despite his physical feat, every ounce of the king oozes weakness, and Vaemond seizes the moment to rebel, forgetting that an absolute hellcat of a man stands behind him, wielding Dark Sister. Vaemond speaks the truth (“Her children are BASTARDS! And she is a whore.”), albeit rudely, but WHIZ! There goes his head, sliced along the tongue line. I screamed, and leapt from my chair, and cackled a bit. Yet absolutely no one in the throne room thinks that this murder should perhaps be prosecuted, or even discussed.

Instead, Viserys gathers them together that night for one last family-style dinner ’round the old table. “I must put things right,” he gasped when he fell from the Iron Throne that afternoon. And dammit, a few toasts ought to do it! Alicent’s and Rhaenyra’s salutes lean towards genuine, and their embrace at night’s end hints that with enough time, they might eventually come back to friendship. Alicent even admits, “You’ll be a fine queen,” a massive undercut of her own agenda. But their children don’t have the luxury of firm prior relationships. Aegon, now a slimy little git and a certified rapist, is busy insulting Jace’s manhood. And hulking Aemond slams tables with menacing glee; his nephews have seen him spar in the castle courtyard and know that he’d best them in an instant. When the servers slide a suckling pig in front of Aemond, Luke can’t help but giggle at the memory of his then-dragonless uncle meeting a winged sow in the pit. Nevermind that Aegon was the meager brains behind that prank, Aemond’s particular brand of overgrown masculinity can’t take even a gentle poke.

So he brings the conversation back around to his “Strong” nephews, pushing buttons with some weak double entendre, and ending the jollity — and the visit.

At this moment, the chance for improvement still exists. If Rhaenyra really flies back to King’s Landing and repairs the relationship with Alicent, a respite could follow. But that’s only the case with Viserys alive. His presence is a weak glue; in time, it could help Rhaenyra and Alicent stick back together. Instead, that night in his chamber he mistakes Alicent for Rhaenyra, and spills the secret of the Song of Ice and Fire, imploring her, “It’s you, you must do this,” and perhaps convincing Queen Alicent that the blessing to run the kingdom is hers and hers alone.

Then — we think — he breathes his last. If the king is dead, long live the queen. But which one?

From the Ravens

• Syrax has another clutch of eggs! “A dragon egg for you! And one for you! And you!”

• We get a glimpse of little Joffrey this episode and he too has a head full of brown hair. Aegon III and baby Viserys, however, are bleach blondes.

• Forgive the tiny quibble, but there is not a chance that Vaemond would enter the Red Keep with his heraldry through the training courtyard. Castles were massive places, towns inside walls, and just as decorum demanded a proper greeting for Rhaenyra and Daemon, Vaemond would have been met at a proper entrance.

• In a bit of poetic justice, it is Daemon who places Viserys’s crown back atop his head. I’d say he’s gone a bit soft, but moments later he lops off someone else’s.

• Teatime with the Targaryens! Viserys’s cup is filled with milk of the poppy, and Dyana, the servant girl raped by Aegon, is given an herbal Plan B in another cuppa. That scene will be important — why else have Mysaria show up later, in cahoots with the maid who brought word of Aegon’s violence to Alicent? Watching Dyana drink the potion, I was reminded of something else: Rhaenyra didn’t consume her tea onscreen, and that first son of hers looks awfully like Criston Cole …

• For all the comparisons floating around between Alicent and Cersei, one does have to give the Lannisters a bit more credit. At least Tommen and Myrcella were decent humans. Alicent has produced two deranged duds.

• Helaena, however, remains a bright spot, and deserves far more time onscreen. Earlier in the season, just as Alicent promised Aegon he’d someday have a dragon, Helaena whispered to her spider, “He’ll have to close an eye,” a premonition fulfilled. This week, while her husband/brother humiliates her at the table, she mutters, “You are the beast beneath the boards.”

• Aegon looks 19. Aemond looks 39.

• I do wish they’d give Baela and Rhaena distinct personalities and, well, some lines. There’s something unseemly about two young Black women who just smile in the background, bit players to their betrothed.

• Viserys’s last glimpse is of Aemma’s ring, still wrapped around his finger.

The language Rhaenyra uses in her weirdwood chat with Rhaenys is exhaustive but careful. She swears she did not kill Laenor and was not complicit in his death. There’s a chance she is lying here, and she doesn’t know that Laenor escaped to a Pentoshi paradise with Qarl-with-a-Q. But it’s more likely that she and Daemon acted together to stage his death and hustle the pair out of Westeros via rowboat. Which makes me wonder, what with Melisandre’s shadow baby, the Blackfish’s escape from the Red Wedding, and Gendry’s season-long paddle, the rowboat budget for the Game of Thrones franchise must be robust.
House of the Dragon Recap: A Cozy Little Melee