Love Island U.K.
Week 6 of Love Island U.K. is available to stream now in the United Kingdom on ITV2; it will be available in the U.S. on Hulu starting the week of August 16. This recap does not cover Episode 34: “Unseen Bits.”
If last week was the best time of the year, this week is the second-best time of the year, a.k.a. the ceremonial post-Casa-Amor axing of new islanders. As of last week, six Casa contestants entered the villa, and this week each of them got dumped and screwed over in new and interesting ways. To kick this recap off, let’s run the gamut of post-holiday blues, shall we?
A Casa Crapshoot
• Sam. This is an easy one because pretty much the moment Faye and Teddy get within six feet of each other they realize they were duped/bamboozled/hoodwinked by producers. They kiss and make up on the terrace, to which Sam replies eloquently: “Yeah. Sound.” He half-heartedly expresses interest in Mary and Abi but ends up dumped at the end of the week along with Hugo, Amy, and Clarisse. This engineer deserved more, but Faye was too focused on pumping the villa so full of Teddy’s cologne that it smells like a 2009 Abercrombie store.
• Dale. Chloe decides that she and Dale are just going to be friends so she can get that special friends-and-family haircut discount. Dale starts flirting with Mary, but Abi thinks their tattoos could look good next to each other and chooses him at the re-coupling. Because Abi’s the kindest islander this villa has possibly ever seen, she immediately feels guilty and gives Mary and Dale permission to run their hands through each other’s luscious locks.
• Mary. Mary falls victim to what I like to call the Aromolaran Effect, where a butterfly flaps its wings and a tornado is created across the world; or, in this case, where Toby decides he’s interested in Chloe again and therefore causes seismic shifts in the villa’s couples. Toby dumps Abi and Mary to pursue Chloe, and the two get back together in a fit of giggles because it’s nearly impossible for either of them to have a serious conversation. After surviving an odd re-coupling and a vicious dumping, Mary and Dale are free to skip off into the sunset together (see above). Ah, young Casa love.
• Clarisse. Tyler decides that he’s interested in both Kaz and Clarisse, and he will not be rushed in his decision. This leads Clarisse to suffer for about four days before Tyler decides to go with the name brand and stick with Kaz; Clarisse is then unceremoniously dumped, so Tyler has time and space to move on without her. In her exit interview, she does say she wished she’d slept alone in Casa all four nights, which is TV code for Tyler, you’re a huge scumbag, you know that? Major respect.
• Matt. If there’s a Casa winner this week besides Dale/Mary, it’s Matt, only because he dumps Kaz in possibly the shortest, most powerful breakup I’ve ever seen. Let’s rewind a little: Kaz keeps Matt on the line the entire week, saying she’s really focused on him when anyone with a brain can see that she’s never really gotten off the Tyler Train. After the ladies decide to save Tyler because “there’s someone in the girls who deserves happiness,” Matt says those three little words any girl wants to hear: “Yeah, we’re done,” then essentially walks off. Hoping next week this gentle giant gets a Tall Girl with size 13 Nikes to couple up with.
• Amy. Unfortunately, Amy loses this week because she gets absolutely zero screen time besides (a) Hugo deciding he’s just not that into her anymore, and (b) getting dumped from the island. I tried to warn you last week, Amy: like any PE teacher, Hugo takes anyone with a soul and spits them out worse than they were before.
• Bonus round! Time for Lillie. Though she didn’t stay after Casa, the producers bring her back to tell Millie every disgusting, depraved thing Liam did outside the villa. Unfortunately, Lillie ends up losing again because Millie and Liam stay together after a whole lot of tears, grafting, and a sexual note written on a paper towel. Millie doesn’t let Liam stay in her bed for a few nights though, so I guess there’s Lillie’s impact?
Let’s Get Grafting
The producers decide the steady couples have had a fairly easy week, so they set up a nice little movie night for the couples. It’s a trap, obviously; if a team wins a round, they get to select an incriminating video clip to watch. The worst clips include a moment from Week 1 or 2 where Jake says he’s not that sexually attracted to Liberty, a sexually-charged conversation between Sam and Faye that Faye just laughs at while Teddy looks like he’s just been slapped, Jake encouraging all the boys to get with Casa girls, and Teddy telling Clarisse he’s sexually attracted to her.
Faye’s not laughing anymore — in fact, she’s so angry all the girls cower in fear while she screams across the tables at Teddy and Jake. After the challenge, it’s the Faye of Reckoning, and this girl loses it to Matt, Dale, Jake, and anyone else that gets in her way. But the worst, obviously, is towards Teddy: she calls him a “fucking liar,” flips him off, and screeches that he needs to get away from her. Clearly, Faye is a woman with self-destructive tendencies. She’s been looking for reasons to get out of the relationship — saying that Teddy’s not funny, that he likes jazz music (?), and that he’s too nice to fit in with her family — and she just found the biggest one she could get her acrylic nails on. These scenes are actually pretty upsetting to watch: anytime Teddy (or any other guy, for that matter) tries to have a conversation, she belittles them, calls them names, or generally gets them away from her in any way she can. It’s an interesting dynamic: if a guy popped off like this on all the women in the villa, he would probably be taken out (for good reason), but Faye is allowed to take out her anger on any person with an XY chromosome in the vicinity. Either way, Faye calls it off with Teddy in between shouting sessions, and he gives her back her ring. For a man who slept outside in a teepee during Casa Amor, snuggled with Faye’s teddy bear and has never before raised his voice, Teddy truly deserves far better treatment than this.
In the midst of all this madness, Liberty tries to talk to Jake about the fact that he wasn’t initially sexually attracted to her. In response, Jake tells her to not “live in the past” and that he wouldn’t have made her his girlfriend if he wasn’t into her. This is not an adequate response by any means, and Chloe, somehow the voice of reason, tells Lib that he should have reassured her more. She’s absolutely right: Jake has been sus for weeks, and now the truth has finally come out. Liberty is a stunning, loyal, and hilarious person who frankly deserves better than Jake. Maybe she and Teddy should get together? Now that’s a twist ending I could support.
After this week, nothing is stable in the villa anymore. Despite having only two weeks left, there’s not a clear frontrunner, a clearly self-destructive person taking shots at anyone in sight, and another dumping coming up next week, because we can’t keep having Mary sleep on the couch. It makes for great television, but at what cost? All I can say is I hope it’s not Teddy or Liberty.
• One night, singer Mabel performs in the villa, but she and her dancers are forced to stay at least ten feet away from the islanders at all times. In years to come, we’ll think of this time as the Villa Dark Ages.
• At one point, Millie breaks her Sagittarius necklace. Is this a sign from the stars?
• My feelings about Jake aside, Dale gives him a pretty good haircut this week.
• Official count of Olivia Rodrigo references: 6
• One morning, Toby sets up a breakfast picnic for himself and Chloe and has to think about how to write the letter E. I hate to admit it, but I think these two are actually perfect for each other.