Scusi! The White Lotus is coming to Vulture Festival! Join us for an advance screening of episode three in Los Angeles on November 12, followed by a live conversation with Meghann Fahy—tickets are on sale now!
Only two things are certain in the second season of The White Lotus: Someone will kill, and someone(s) will be killed. The opening scene of premiere episode “Ciao” confirms that, as in the first season of Mike White’s HBO miniseries turned anthology series, there is at least one death lurking at the end of this show, which means there’s at least one murderer (and maybe more!). But WHO will those someones be?? Every week, we will be checking on our gang of bougie guests, put-upon assistants, tense hotel staff, and working girls just trying to make a lira in this cruel world, as we ask, who seems most likely to murder? And who will wind up a floating corpse in the Ionian Sea? Allora, andiamo!
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Tanya McQuoid-Hunt (Jennifer Coolidge)
Personally, if I went to a resort where someone got murdered, I would not become a regular of that particular business, but Tanya’s reached Blossom level with the White Lotus and is a very devoted customer. Since we last saw this fan favorite, she got hitched to her man from season one and wrangled herself an assistant whom her husband is NOT happy to see. (“You’re gonna have to get lost,” Tanya explains to poor Portia. “Stay close, because I might need you, but lay low and don’t come out of your room.”) Her relationship seems like it’s in a very uneasy and not-romantic place. If a man made fun of me for eating macarons, I would absolutely murder him. But will Tanya?
Will she kill? Part of me thinks that if she suspected her husband was betraying her, she would straight-up smother him with a pillow. Plus, she might accidentally kill Portia from overwork and/or starvation re: not letting her leave the room for sustenance. But I feel like our murder will be more convoluted/random than that, so I’m going with eh, feels like she won’t.
Will she be killed? She’s certainly making some enemies — the way she treats Portia could definitely set her up to “slip” off the edge of a boat — but I’m willing to bet she makes it out alive, because Mike White wouldn’t make TWL without her. She might end up becoming the one constant through however many seasons of this show we’re going to get. Current status: extremely unlikely.
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Greg Hunt (Jon Gries)
He’s taking mysterious “work” calls in the bathroom. He’s negging his wife. Tanya is on his last nerve and probably this trip was supposed to be a getaway from all their issues. But you can’t get away from yourself, now can you??
Will he kill? He doesn’t seem central enough to be a killer, so gonna go with probably not.
Will he be killed? Upon reflection, yeah! He could be! The odds here seem pretty decent.
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Daphne Sullivan (Meghann Fahy)
It’s Sutton from The Bold Type! Seeing as she spent the first season of that show running around with a hot, older guy with money, I feel like it’s not out of the question that these two shows exist in the same extended television universe, no? Daphne bumps into a dead body during her final dip of the vacation, which means that if she killed anybody, she didn’t kill that somebody. (Or maybe she did and she just thought she did a better job tying a big ol’ rock to their ankles?) We learn that other guests died during the week, so we can’t totally rule Daphne out as a killer. That said, her promise to the guests who just arrived about how much they’ll enjoy their stay — “You’re gonna die! They’re gonna have to drag you out of here!” — is an awfully on-the-nose thing for a murderer to say.
Will she kill? I’m a little suspicious of how aggressively pleasant she is, like we are in for a twist where she seems all “sugar and spice and everything nice,” but she’s actually Sugar and Spice (2001), a.k.a capable of committing armed robbery and who knows what else. Plus, she’s a stay-at-home mom who watches a lot of Dateline. Who knows what tips and tricks she’s picked up from hours spent thinking about all the ways people do violent crime and get away with it? Okay, fine, I’ve talked myself into it; she’s on the maybe list.
Will she be killed? She lives to find a body! No way.
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Cameron Sullivan (Theo James)
At first I wondered, Oh, are he and Harper already hooking up, and her cruelty is part of an elaborate ruse? But no, he’s just laying the groundwork. Cheating on your spouse with the wife of the college buddy you brought on vacation is extreme dirtbag behavior. That said: Aubrey Plaza. I don’t not get it. Anyway, he is set up here as someone you can love to hate: always sides with the employer when they get sued for harassment and discrimination; doesn’t read the news because it bums him out; calls his supposed best friend the “original incel.” Shudder.
Will he kill? He seems like someone who might commit a panicked, accidental manslaughter and then go about his day and just be like, Bro, these things happen. Maybe!
Will he be killed? Hard to imagine his lovely bride raving about the trip on which her husband got slaughtered. Also, she would’ve named names if it was his body she’d bumped into in the water. So based on the available evidence, I’m going to say he makes it out alive.
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Harper Spiller (Aubrey Plaza)
Harper is prickly and uptight and will NOT switch sides of the bed or eat fish that’s too fishy, and when her husband tries to suggest that his friends, loudly screwing in the adjoining room, are “fun,” she retorts, “They don’t vote, Ethan.”
Will she kill? Honestly, all four members of this couple-quad seem like they would kill each other, and Aubrey Plaza gives off the vibe of someone who could stab you in the throat pretty much all the time. (I say this with the highest of compliments). But would having her character be a killer be too obvious a choice?? Verdict: Too soon to say, but I’m not ruling it out.
Will she be killed? I don’t have a lot of evidence to back this up yet, but I just get a feeling that yeah, it feels like she could!!
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Ethan Spiller (Will Sharpe)
A newly rich guy could have a target on his back, but I kind of doubt the Sullivans dragged him out to Sicily to commit a destination homicide.
Will he kill? So far, this guy seems like more of a spectator, so going to say nah.
Will he be killed? He’s a more likely victim than some of the other people on this list, so let’s say it’s a real possibility.
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Bert Di Grasso (F. Murray Abraham)
Bert is ostensibly here to find his nonna’s old house, but really he’s just here to sexually harass every woman he meets and fart into the awkward silences. The golden years, amirite?
Will he kill? I absolutely think this man is capable of murder. Would commit a little homicide and then pretend he just, like, slipped and banged his head, and then go right back to flirting with whichever resort employee got him an ice pack. He’s a contender.
Will he be killed? Weirdly, I feel like he will survive this trip? It’s sort of a cop-out to kill the oldest guest. TBD
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Dominic Di Grasso (Michael Imperioli)
Christafaaaa!!! Even though he is playing someone who is probably a dirtbag, based on his treatment of his son (hilariously negligent) and how his wife yells at him on the phone (absolutely incredible), I’m just happy to see this alternate timeline where Chrissy is alive and (basically) well. And he made it to Hollywood, just like he always dreamed he would! He put this trip together and must be loaded because all three generations of Di Grasso men get separate rooms. Quite the upgrade from last season’s family setup, wherein Connie Britton made her entire crew pile into one room just to force family bonding and her son wound up sleeping in a closet.
Will he kill? He does not seem like a killer to me. But maybe his wife knows something I don’t. Those screams were … intense. Potentially!
Will he be killed? I CANNOT WATCH MICHAEL IMPERIOLI DIE AGAIN, MY FRAGILE JERSEY HEART WILL NOT SURVIVE IT. That said, HBO doesn’t care about my feelings, so I wouldn’t rule it out.
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Albie Di Grasso (Adam DiMarco)
Every TWL season has its sensitive son, and this time it’s Albie, who, like season one’s Quinn, struggles to find a sleeping arrangement that he can actually enjoy and just wishes the family that brought him on vacation were actually interested in spending time with him.
Will he kill? Oooof, he seems awfully squeamish for that sort of thing. But also like someone who would attempt to do a valiant thing and accidentally leave a person dead. 50/50
Will he be killed? Gosh, I hope not. He’s so young! I think that would be too dark for the tenor of this show. Gonna say no … for now.
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Portia (Haley Lu Richardson)
Very happy to see a star of one of the great, undersung movies of the 2010s (justice for Support the Girls!) finding work, even if her character’s work is as thankless as being sentenced to appease the whims of her batshit-crazy boss. Maybe she’ll score a vacation fling with our sweet, sensitive Albie? Because he possibly has a thing for girls who dress like Kimmy Gibbler?
Will she kill? She’s already having a breakdown, so I’d say a frantic, “oh no what have we done” killing is not out of the question.
Will she be killed? For some reason, I do feel like she could die on this trip, if only for the crime of not staying in her room. Mayyyyybe!
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Valentina (Sabrina Impacciatore)
Our manager gets a fantastic opening line — “We can’t be liable for what happens in the Ionian Sea!” — and spends much of this episode being very awkward with guests and harsh on sex workers. She probably has lots of enemies and knows where to bury bodies.
Will she kill? Honestly, her demeanor suggests she would not hesitate to take out somebody who threatens to ruffle the smooth running of her hotel. Though so far, beyond her desire to get the teen girls to scram, she doesn’t appear to have a real nemesis worth offing yet. Still, it’s early days. Has potential, stay tuned.
Will she be killed? Looks like she makes it out alive, no? Doubtful
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Lucia (Simona Tabasco) and Mia (Beatrice Granno)
I’m rooting for both of these crazy kids. Possibly as the season goes on, they will merit separate stations on this list, but for now they give off package-deal energy.
Will they kill? Lucia could definitely kill. The oomph with which Mia throws her drink in the pianist’s face tells me she has more grit than meets the eye. Gonna just go for it and say more likely than not.
Will they be killed? It would be so cliché and sort of tasteless/gross for the show to have a young sex worker get murdered, honestly, so I’ll just go with I sure hope not.
