When We’re Here planned its third season, the show no doubt set its sights on Florida partly because of the state’s shocking “Don’t Say Gay” law, which Governor Ron DeSantis signed into law this past spring. It makes a lot of sense: Florida is a hotbed of anti-gay activism and right-winged nightmare, juxtaposed with Miami beach culture and a whole bunch of Disney magic. There’s simply a lot going on in Florida, and We’re Here wanted to be a part of it.
But all the shit happening in Florida has only spread, and now multiple states are seeking to ban children from drag shows and drag shows altogether, lumping them in with sex work and other seemingly lascivious activities. The fear-mongering might have begun in Florida, but it has moved north as quickly as an invasive weed.
I love that We’re Here spent a sizable portion of time in Florida this season because there were so many stories to tell there. It would have been a shame to see Vico, Jaime, Dempsey, Mandy, Lori, and Mark reduced to little blips in a 60-minute one-off since each of their paths in life has been so remarkable.
Take Mark, for instance, who still clearly misses his partner of 30-some years, Vernon. He lived a full life and had an epic romance with a man his family never truly acknowledged as his partner. He’s fervently obsessed with his 88-year-old hyper-Catholic, prayer-room-having mother, but she also doesn’t seem to want to appreciate her son to his fullest expression. When Bob presses her for her thoughts on Mark’s life, she’s all “Whatever he wants, I guess,” but that’s inherently not true. As Bob says to the camera later, it’s that casual withholding that makes Mark keep a foot in the closet. If he were to truly come out and live his truth, he’s afraid he could lose his mother, and then who would he have?
I hope that doing We’re Here will make Mark realize that, in some sense, he needs that validation from his mom and others. He got married, for crying out loud, and he doesn’t even know if he told anyone. I hope he can live his life in the light in the future, whatever that means for him. I think he knows he has to, telling the camera that he’s had a taste of being happy from his life with Vernon and that “you can’t keep lying and still be happy.”
A part of me wonders why the show didn’t do more to contrast Joyce with Jaime in this episode because Jaime’s the diametric opposite. She has not only embraced her daughter Dempsey for who she is, but she’s also fighting for her rights almost every day. It’s not because she wants to — she says she’d rather be at home in her sweatpants reading a book — but because, as a mom, she wants to protect all her children from everything. That means keeping their scraped knees bandaged, teeth brushed, and legal rights intact. She’s showing her kids every day that it’s okay to be unapologetically themselves, and she’s also living her truth for her high school students.
Speaking of living truth: Eureka is finally ready to live hers, coming out as a trans woman in this episode. If you follow her on social media, you might have had an inkling, but she saved her official announcement for the show, sparked by her time with Mandy, who stayed closeted until she was 70. Unwilling to keep her feelings bottled up for that long, Eureka chooses to be open, vulnerable, and brave, trusting her sisters on the show and the viewers at home with her journey. Watching her live her authentic self is awe-inspiring, and I’m glad that it seems like, in many ways, the hosts of the show get just as much from their drag sons and daughters as the kids get from them.
Shangela certainly seems to have gotten a lot from Vico, the Pulse survivor who now has severe PTSD. She seems more open and attentive to Vico than some of her other wards, and that’s important: He needs a little more hand-holding and empathetic talk. I thought his analogy about “the fucked up lottery here in America” that he doesn’t “want to win again” is very apt, too, because I know that I feel that way all the time, and I haven’t experienced a fraction of the trauma or violence that Vico has. His struggle may take a lifetime to overcome, and it may never really be gone, but his participation in We’re Here seems to be a good first step.
Vico performs Camila Cabello’s “Don’t Go Yet” at the drag show, and he’s living his best life. He’s got his mom in the front row, and she clearly loves him a whole lot. Vico says that doing the live show has made him want more — more drag performances, more queer spaces, more interaction — and that’s great. As long as there can be people like his mom and Shangela along the way to remind him that at least some spaces are as safe as they can possibly be, he should be able to get the satisfaction and expression he so richly deserves.
Mark’s performance of Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse Of The Heart” and Pat Benatar’s “Love Is A Battlefield” is an ‘80s fever dream, all costume changes and wig reveals. His mom seemed genuinely enchanted by it, but I wonder how deep the show’s messages really sank in. I’m glad his friends from The Villages went too. However, given how crass and handsy they were with the three queens at the episode’s open, I hope they were able to realize that drag isn’t just about tits, ass, and looking hot but rather about becoming the best version of yourself, whatever that is.
I thought Mandy and Lori’s performance was cute with all its bugs and creatures. The couple wasn’t death-dropping all over the place, but they’re in their ‘70s, so you can’t really expect miracles. They brought the show in their faces, and when they looked at each other and sang Starship, there was nothing but love and joy.
Jaime closed the show with a Katy Perry medley, doing “Roar” and “Firework” in a sort of graduation setting. I didn’t quite get the graduation cap slapped on the side of her wig, but I guess it was better than it sitting at the top, Marge Simpson style. She really delivered emotionally throughout her whole piece, and when Dempsey and Jaime’s husband hit the stage, I turned into a sentient Kleenex. On the mic after the show, she told the crowd that she’s “blessed to be her kids’ mom,” and I think the flip side of the statement is very true as well. Those kids are blessed to have a mom like Jaime, who will fight for them no matter what comes. That’s unconditional love, and it’s rarer than you might think.
Then again, as Shangela reminds us at the end of the episode, “there is an infinite amount of love out there for who you are today,” no matter who that is or where you are. We’re Here serves as an important reminder to queer people that, even when they’re at their loneliest and stuck in the most backwoods podunk nowhere, somewhere out there, there is someone who cares for and loves them just for being them. It’s a beautiful notion that I hope We’re Here gets to champion for years to come.
Stray Observations
• Bob slayed me when he said, “I believe the women of The Villages are keeping Ann Taylor Loft in business. They cannot make capris fast enough.” I would argue it’s more Chico’s than Loft, but the point was made.
• Similarly, I would be remiss not to say how much I enjoyed Bob’s interaction with Mark’s mom over his purse. I loved everything from the eye-rolling to “Joyce, imagine me with a backpack. That would be tacky.” Amen.
• That’s the end of We’re Here season three! Thank you all for reading and (hopefully) enjoying these recaps. I honestly think We’re Here is the best reality show on TV, so I’m going to take any chance I have to stump for it.
