Don’t Even Think About It, by Alex PearsonDon’t even think about it. I would not sleep with you if we were the last two people on Earth.
Don’t even think about it. While I would feign […]
A Reasonable Man, by Christopher MahEveryone knows that our country is more divided than ever, even more divided than the era when colored people were not treated with the perfect […]
Poker Face, by David WaghalterShe was the most unreadable player I had ever faced across a table. Whether clutching a winning hand or merely bluffing, her demeanor never […]
Welcome to Milton Honors!, by Ryan R. JordanDear Sir or Madam:
Welcome to Milton Honors! You are now a member of one of the hospitality industry’s ranked rewards programs!
As a Milton […]
Dear Highlights Forum, by Pat FeehanDear Highlights Forum,
Melissa and I had been eating our snacks together during recess for two weeks. Sometimes we would share our snacks or […]
My Heroes, Daydreamt, by Daniel MoraffELEANOR ROOSEVELT: It’s midnight at the temporary UN headquarters on Long Island. Eleanor and I are, at last, alone, straining to develop some […]
Conjoined Twins, by Alex PearsonPeople are generally fascinated by the concept of conjoined twins, yet rarely do any of these people actually ever know any conjoined twins […]
Got A Minute?, by Ryan KrebsHi, God. Bernie Turkingham. Duh, you know that. You got a minute? Great, thanks.
I’m gonna tell it like it is: I think you’re doing a bang-up […]
MovieZoom, by Molly SchoemannFrom: List@MovieZoom.com
Date: Sunday, 6:54pm
Subject: Welcome to MovieZoom!
Dear Valued MovieZoom Customer,
Thanks for trying our new […]
Welcome to Our Dog Park, by Jonathan MillsteinWelcome to our dog park. This land is privately owned, but we open it to the public because we love dogs. Please, read and abide by the rules […]
Raised By Wolves, by Lauren Dowling“You know, I’m cursed with morals. I was raised a certain way. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was raised by wolves.”
— Carson Daly to Elle […]
Landscaping, by Ryan KrebsAlright, is everyone here? We’re missing Bobby.
Hey, there he is. Sorry B, Didn’t see you there. Hop on up in your dinner chair.
Ok, so I […]
A Welcome Bulletin, by Luke Gordon FieldATTENTION NEW GLADIATORS!
It is our pleasure to greet you and introduce you to life here at the Coliseum. We know you’re all excited to start […]
Criminally Good Pizza, by Jaime FernandezI love pizza. It’s as simple as that. Good pizza is like good sex [they both can leave hard to remove stains from your bedsheets!]. And I am […]
THE PUUURFECT APARTMENT!!!, by Andrew FordThe perfect 2-Bedroom* apartment is now available in that hip neighborhood, next to that bridge, that allll your friends just moved to!!!
Only […]
Mass E-Mail, by Darren SpringerSubject line: FRIDAY!!!!!
Hello all,
First of all, let me just say that Eleanor and I are both very excited that you all have agreed to join […]
Regarding My Candidacy, by Joe VeixThroughout our nation’s history, our most heroic and intelligent citizens have selflessly sacrificed themselves in order to maintain a […]
Table41 Media Kit, by Daniel McGillivrayBon Soir!
Welcome and thank you for your interest in Table41 - a weekly e-column dedicated to dining alone. Since its July 2007 launch Table41 […]
Hit ‘em Hard Boys, by John Howell HarrisThis is it, boys. The big one. We gotta get out there and hit ‘em hard, hit ‘em fast, and hit ‘em where it hurts — which is apparently […]
Welcome to the Neighborhood, by Django GoldHowdy!
And welcome! As president of the Welcome Wagon, I’d like to be the first to extend my greetings to the newest addition to the Sycamore […]
The Depression Diet, by Benjamin HartSummer has come and gone and you’re left with the same pot belly and love handles you had in May. You can try low-fat smoothies and a workout […]
I Am Sam Was Sad. We Get It, by Liz ArcuryMy name is Roxanne McLachlan and I lost my homecoming queen crown to Dakota Fanning.
We go to Campbell Hall Episcopal High School here in […]