Don’t even think about it. I would not sleep with you if we were the last two people on Earth.
Don’t even think about it. While I would feign […]
Everyone knows that our country is more divided than ever, even more divided than the era when colored people were not treated with the perfect […]
She was the most unreadable player I had ever faced across a table. Whether clutching a winning hand or merely bluffing, her demeanor never […]
Note from the Editor: It is with great regret that we were forced to lay off our 20-plus year advice columnist, Ann O’Grady, last week (sorry […]
Dear Sir or Madam:
Welcome to Milton Honors! You are now a member of one of the hospitality industry’s ranked rewards programs!
As a Milton […]
Dear Highlights Forum,
Melissa and I had been eating our snacks together during recess for two weeks. Sometimes we would share our snacks or […]
ELEANOR ROOSEVELT: It’s midnight at the temporary UN headquarters on Long Island. Eleanor and I are, at last, alone, straining to develop some […]
Will there be alcohol at the christening?
As many of you know, it is not recommended that babies drink alcohol, even at special occasions like […]
People are generally fascinated by the concept of conjoined twins, yet rarely do any of these people actually ever know any conjoined twins […]
Hi, God. Bernie Turkingham. Duh, you know that. You got a minute? Great, thanks.
I’m gonna tell it like it is: I think you’re doing a bang-up […]
You’ve mastered wine and you’ve cupped coffee, but have you experienced the latest craze to tantalize the taste buds of the world’s gastronomic […]
That’s quite an accusation, Marianne! To imply that I have up and forgotten my own son’s name! Well, you sure have some nerve! To think I can’t […]
Date: Sunday, 6:54pm
Subject: Welcome to MovieZoom!
Dear Valued MovieZoom Customer,
Thanks for trying our new […]
Welcome to our dog park. This land is privately owned, but we open it to the public because we love dogs. Please, read and abide by the rules […]
On Monday afternoon, 80 first graders at Abraham Lincoln Elementary School took the stage to present “Go Fish!” The one-act play, directed by […]
Attention Friends and Loved Ones,
Caitlyn and I have been so wrapped up in pre-matrimony madness that, unfortunately, some small typos crept […]
To say I was, am, and always will be a Murphy Brown fan is an understatement. I prefer “devotee” at least, if not “acolyte.” I mean, does […]
“You know, I’m cursed with morals. I was raised a certain way. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was raised by wolves.”
— Carson Daly to Elle […]
Welcome back! Okay guys, the final hour of coverage underway, comin’ to you live from within the brackish mire! We’ve been getting the scoop […]
Alright, is everyone here? We’re missing Bobby.
Hey, there he is. Sorry B, Didn’t see you there. Hop on up in your dinner chair.
Ok, so I […]