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MOST RECENT ARTICLES BY:
Tom Scharpling
See all their articles from across New York Magazine
book excerpt
July 12, 2021
My Afternoon With Papa Roach
An excerpt from Tom Scharpling’s new memoir,
It Never Ends.
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Trump capriciously chooses between Marlee Matlin and John Rich, and Tom has a lot to get off his chest.
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May 16, 2011
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It’s hard to get worked up about a final task that involves Dee Snider.
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His constant weeping is touching in a way, but then tips over into insanity, especially when he recites an ode to Trump.
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May 2, 2011
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Recap: Tom Scharpling on Bin Laden’s Death Trumping the NeNe/Star Nonsense
“The gulf between Donald Trump’s faux-populist bullying and the iron will it takes to actually run the country has never seemed so massive.”
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Apr. 25, 2011
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Teams are forced to shill for Trump himself for two hours, and none do it well.
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Apr. 18, 2011
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Recap: Tom Scharpling on the Gary Busey Debacle
“I know that Busey suffered drastic head trauma after his horrible motorcycle accident and he’s not all there, but he is also a dick.”
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Apr. 11, 2011
Celebrity Apprentice
Recap: Tom Scharpling on the Unraveling of La Toya
She responds to budget constrictions by basically saying, “Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa! I want you to get me an Oompa Loompa right away!”
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Apr. 4, 2011
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Recap: Tom Scharpling Marvels at the Meat Loaf Meltdown
When Phil Rizzuto said “we got a real pressure cooker going here” in “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” he was talking about the empty overheating cauldron socked squarely between Meat Loaf’s ears.
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Mar. 28, 2011
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Only one woman is brave enough to stand up to the evil way-to–San Jose–knower.
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Mar. 21, 2011
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Recap: Tom Scharpling Says Dionne Warwick Is Not What Friends Are For
You were not drafted to be on this show, Dionne. The Dell Dude would’ve filled your seat with an enthusiasm that would’ve made our hearts sing!
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Mar. 14, 2011
The Celebrity Apprentice
Recap: As Players Put On a Kids Show, Tom Scharpling Fears for the Children
Unless I have fallen asleep and this is some sort of dream I’m trapped in, things have gone waaaay off course at some point.
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Mar. 7, 2011
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Recap: Tom Scharpling Shoots Fish in a Barrel
Mentally ill fish. In a big glass barrel designed expressly for mentally ill fish. With a gun filled with mentally-ill-fish-killing bullets.