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Apropos Of Nothing

  1. apropos of nothing
    Latest Made-Up Rumors Suggest Cher Will Play Catwoman in Next Batman MovieAccording to a poorly sourced report in an unreliable British fishwrap, she’ll play the villain as a ‘vamp in her twilight years.’
    By Lane Brown
  2. apropos of nothing
    Woody Allen Reminds Us How Funny He IsWe liked the line about Woody fracturing ‘certain key teeth’ on the floor.
    By Dan Kois
  3. apropos of nothing
    ‘Playboy’ Puts ‘Mad Men’ Cast in Most Irony-Free Photo Shoot EverOkay, not the photo of Bryan Batt. But the rest of them!
    By Dan Kois
  4. apropos of nothing
    Success of ‘The House Bunny’ a Clear Mandate for Someone to Write a Non-Crappy Movie for Anna FarisIf people will pay to see her in ‘The House Bunny,’ just imagine how much they’d like her in a movie that isn’t terrible!
    By Lane Brown
  5. apropos of nothing
    ‘American Idol’ Adds Fourth Judge, Possibly to Avoid Remaking Mistakes of Recent PastIn the wake of David Cook’s baffling victory, the show is increasing its critical component.
    By Lane Brown
  6. apropos of nothing
    Joe Biden’s Book a Bestseller, and All It Took Was a V.P. NominationSadly, Evan Bayh’s ‘Argentina’s Economic Crisis: Hearing Before the Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs, U.S. Senate’ wasn’t so lucky.
    By Dan Kois
  7. apropos of nothing
    Merrill Lynch Angling for Larger Share of the ‘Valkyrie’ ProfitsFollowing Paula Wagner’s ousting, the bank is looking to renegotiate its contract with Tom Cruise’s United Artists.
    By Lane Brown
  8. apropos of nothing
    How Bad Is Terrence Howard’s Album, Anyway?We’ve heard some crappy actor-made albums before, but this one might be something special.
    By Lane Brown
  9. apropos of nothing
    Just Let Tom Scharpling Write a 33 1/3 Book Already’You should see the people writing these 33 1/3 books,’ he says on the air.
    By Dan Kois
  10. apropos of nothing
    America Admits Mistake As David Archuleta’s Single Makes Historic Chart DebutWronged ‘American Idol’ runner-up David Archuleta may have lost out to balder, pitchier competition on the show, but he’s having revenge on the ‘Billboard’ singles chart.
    By Lane Brown
  11. apropos of nothing
    We Can’t Wait for ‘FBI Art Squad,’ the MovieGuns, danger, sexy naked paintings — what else do you need?
    By Dan Kois
  12. apropos of nothing
    Hey, America! Go See a Movie Without Explosions This WeekendOnce you’ve seen ‘The Dark Knight’ for the fourth time, that is.
    By Dan Kois
  13. apropos of nothing
    With ‘Godspell’ Out, Is ‘Hair’ In on Broadway?Following the collapse of ‘Godspell,’ producers are looking to move a different hippie musical to Broadway.
    By Lane Brown
  14. apropos of nothing
    Michael Phelps Is the ‘Young Jeezy of the Swim World,’ Asserts Young JeezyJeezy does way more than his fair share on a slow news day.
    By Lane Brown
  15. apropos of nothing
    Sheryl Crow to Single-handedly Hand Election to McCainDo you know a single person under the age of 30 who would lift a finger for a Sheryl Crow album?
    By Dan Kois
  16. apropos of nothing
    Fox and Warner Bros. Besieged by Steamed ‘Watchmen’ and ‘Harry Potter’ FansAngry over lawsuits and release-date switches, geeks makes the suits feel the pain.
    By Lane Brown
  17. apropos of nothing
    UCBT’s Bobby Moynihan Lands at ‘SNL’Those of us who have enjoyed Bobby’s work since the glory days of Police Chief Rumble salute him.
    By Dan Kois
  18. apropos of nothing
    Apatocalypse Now: Five Movies to Get You Through the Coming Judd Apatow DroughtDid you know ‘Pineapple Express’ is the last Apatow movie of 2008? Here are five ripoffs Hollywood hopes will fill the void.
    By Lane Brown
  19. apropos of nothing
    Universal Unleashes ‘Mamma Mia!: The Sing-Along Edition’ on Unsuspecting WorldCould seeing ‘Mamma Mia!’ in a theater have been slightly worse? Yes, astoundingly.
    By Lane Brown
  20. apropos of nothing
    It’s a Trend! Third Hitler-Killing Movie AnnouncedDespite seeming like a sequel to ‘The Day the Clown Cried,’ this seems to be an actual serious drama.
    By Dan Kois
  21. apropos of nothing
    Jonas Brothers Coyly Decline to Endorse a Candidate…for now. They’re holding out for a Cabinet position.
    By Dan Kois
  22. apropos of nothing
    A Chart-Based Review of Andrew Kuo’s Latest New York ‘Times’ Chart-Based Music ReviewHow does the latest masterwork from the preeminent chart master of our time stand up to his previous ones?
    By Lane Brown
  23. apropos of nothing
    Muxtape Shut Down by the Man, Pandora Probably NextMuxtape is possibly dead as Pandora fights for its life.
    By Lane Brown
  24. apropos of nothing
    Slint Song Inspires World’s Most Terrifying Children’s BookOf pretty much all the songs we’ve ever heard, this one must rank somewhere near the bottom for ones we thought might make good children’s literature.
    By Ehren Gresehover
  25. apropos of nothing
    How Much Money Could the Jonas Brothers Make?The brothers are currently making only $12 million a year, which may seem like a lot to you but frankly isn’t.
    By Dan Kois
  26. apropos of nothing
    ‘Chinese Democracy’ Possibly Being Released, Possibly As Wal-Mart ExclusiveAxl is currently in talks to release the album through Best Buy or Wal-Mart, not that this will ever actually happen.
    By Lane Brown
  27. apropos of nothing
    New U2 Songs Leaked Directly From Bono’s StereoA fan walking past Bono’s house last week heard new songs blaring from the stereo. He’s uploaded them to YouTube for your listening pleasure.
    By Lane Brown
  28. apropos of nothing
    The Hidden ‘Weekend Arts’As summer-desperate editors have always known, any idea, no matter how goofy, can be stretched into a popular recurring feature.
  29. apropos of nothing
    Which Other Olympians Should Listen to Lil’ Wayne Before Competing?Michael Phelps listens to Weezy’s “I’m Me” before he swims. What other athletes could benefit from Wayne’s motivational power?
  30. apropos of nothing
    Relax, Everybody! Quentin Tarantino Will Probably Not Save Mike Myers’s CareerDon’t worry — Myers’s part in ‘Inglorious Bastards’ is just a small cameo.
  31. apropos of nothing
    Latest Guns N’ Roses Leak Confirms Possible Existence of ‘Chinese Democracy,’ MaybeAxl’s new song leaks to YouTube! Was it worth the fifteen-year wait? No!
  32. apropos of nothing
    Brian Austin Green Would Make a Terrific Riddler, Claims Brian Austin GreenThe former ‘90210’ star would be perfect, says the former ‘90210’ star.
  33. apropos of nothing
    ABC Declares New Official Holiday: ‘National Stay at Home Week’E-mail your boss right now and ask for the entire week of September 21 off.
  34. apropos of nothing
    New York Branch of Rock Hall of Fame Finally Gives Billy Joel Something to Do With All That Crap in His GarageRejoice, New Yorkers! No longer will Cleveland, Ohio, hold a monopoly on the world’s most irrelevant cultural institution!
  35. apropos of nothing
    ‘Valkyrie’ Officially Back in the Oscar Race!Merry Christmas — Tom Cruise’s Nazi movie is coming two months early!
  36. apropos of nothing
    Paula Wagner’s Departure Endangers United Artists’ Status As World’s Best Movie StudioAs part of her punishment, Wagner will retain an ownership interest in the company.
  37. apropos of nothing
    ‘Billy Elliot’ Outselling Buzzy ‘Equus’ Three to One?’Everybody’s tightening their belts,’ says a producer. Ha! Not Daniel Radcliffe!
  38. apropos of nothing
    Are the Jonas Brothers Better Than Weezer?Yes.
  39. apropos of nothing
    Currently in Line: Angry Old People and Funny Young PeopleClearly these Met subscribers have never attempted to purchase an iPhone.
  40. apropos of nothing
    Can Trent Reznor’s TV Show Save HBO?Trent is taking meetings with HBO to discuss how they’d be able to screw up his great idea.
  41. apropos of nothing
    Our Olympic Spirit Crushed: The Firework Footprints Were FakeSay it ain’t so, Zhang!
  42. apropos of nothing
    Six Reasons Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed a Girl’ Isn’t the Song of the SummerIt doesn’t have the full support of our nation’s rappers, for one.
  43. apropos of nothing
    Can Angry Disabled Groups Help ‘The Dark Knight’ Stay Alive at the Box Office?Disability groups are calling for a boycott of ‘Tropic Thunder’ over its use of the word ‘retard.’ Watch out, ‘Titanic’!
  44. apropos of nothing
    Is This the Weekend ‘The Dark Knight’ Will Finally Come in Second Place?’Pineapple Express’ could beat it … but probably won’t!
  45. apropos of nothing
    Sorry, Internet: Simple Three-Way Kissing Does Not a Threesome MakeWe were raised strictly to believe that a threesome had to include pantsless thrusting in two separate vectors.
  46. apropos of nothing
    Breaking: Rebecca Hall Is in ‘Vicky Cristina Barcelona,’ Too!Her character’s name is in the title of the movie, for God’s sake!
  47. apropos of nothing
    Visit Beautiful Pittsburgh, Say the Makers of ‘The Road’!Absolutely no CGI was used to enhance the grim ugliness of Pittsburgh winter in the upcoming ‘Road’ movie.
  48. apropos of nothing
    Seriously, We Are Gettin’ Too Old for This ShitRiggs pulls Murtaugh out of retirement to solve one last oh Jesus we can’t take it.
  49. apropos of nothing
    Aspiring Actor Josh Bednarsky Is All Wrong to Play Spider-ManThis Vulture editor stands a better chance of being cast as Mary Jane than Josh Bednarsky does of getting a callback.
  50. apropos of nothing
    Who’s the Better Action Director: David Gordon Green or Christopher Nolan?Weirdly, it’s David Gordon Green.
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