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Close Reading

  1. close reading
    What Did Rihanna Whisper to Drake at the VMAs? An Investigation“That was funny”? “That wasn’t funny”? “That was fucked”?
  2. close reading
    Lorrie Moore Is Not a Carrie–Brody Shipper“They lack mutual trust or any palpable erotic vibe.”
  3. close reading
    Breaking Down the New York Review of Books’ Defense of GirlsIt’s here!
  4. close reading
    Evaluating The New York Review of Books Anti–Downton Abbey EssayOne “problem”: Downton Abbey is supposed to be in the North of England, but it’s so obviously filmed in the South.
  5. close reading
    The Adventures of Tintin Is a Lot Like Indiana JonesAt least according to all the reviews.
  6. Tom Cruise Is ‘Cocky,’ ‘Emo,’ and He ‘Looks Like a Maniac’ in Mission: ImpossibleBut hey, at least he did a lot of his own stunts.
  7. close reading
    Robert Pattinson Seems Pretty Familiar With Kristen Stewart’s ‘Fancy Moves’“I mean I didn’t actually want to have sex with him on set.”
  8. close reading
    Just How Awful Is Adam Sandler’s Jill Character in Jack and Jill?Really, really awful.
  9. close reading
    Coping With the Deschanel-Gibbard Breakup: Vulture Analyzes the Musical CluesWe’re just trying to understand.
  10. close reading
    We’re Not Saying One Day Has a Twist Ending … and Neither Are These CriticsOr how to talk about something you can’t talk about.
  11. close reading
    Can The Hour Sate Your Mad Men Craving?Mostly critics just want people to stop comparing them.
  12. close reading
    Every Movie Critic: 30 Minutes or Less Should Have Been 30 Minutes or LessWhich is to say, they didn’t like it.
  13. close reading
    The Change-Up Is Just Freaky Friday With More Poop, ApparentlyPlus schmaltz and bimbos.
  14. close reading
    Beyonce’s All Grown Up, and Other Observations From 4’s Reviews“If anyone can make a quiet Friday night come off like an open-bar blowout, it’s Beyoncé.”
  15. close reading
    Critics’ Best Backhanded Compliments of Michael Bay and Transformers: Dark of the Moon“The funniest, best-executed film in the Earth-protecting robots-that-look-like-cars-and-trucks series … [is] as head-slappingly stupid as ever.”
  16. close reading
    Is Poop Funny? Is Christopher Hitchens Wrong? And Other Key Questions Posed by the Reviews of BridesmaidsAre women now equal to men, thanks to this movie?
  17. close reading
    What Parts of Atlas Shrugged: Part One Did the Critics Find Most Ridiculous?Sex! Trains! Newspapers!
  18. close reading
    Matthew McConaughey Gets Well Reviewed in The Lincoln LawyerPigs fly, etc.
  19. close reading
    Three Things Other Than Twilight That Red Riding Hood Can Be Unfavorably Compared ToRenaissance fairs, burning man, M. Night Shyamalan.
  20. close reading
    So Just How Ugly Are the Aliens in I Am Number Four?The ones who aren’t Alex Pettyfer.
  21. close reading
    Keitel Reteams with De Niro and Makes Critics Sad: The Little Fockers Review RoundupHarvey Keitel and Robert De Niro try to make you forget ‘Mean Streets’ with something awful.
  22. close reading
    The Wackiest Descriptions of Jeff Bridges’s CGI-ed Face in Tron: Legacy“Rubbery Botox-android” and “animated death mask” among them.
  23. close reading
    The Craziest Descriptions of Angelina Jolie in Reviews of The TouristIncluding, but not limited to, “an alien and an impeccably attired mannequin” and “live-action version of Jessica Rabbit.”
  24. close reading
    Ke$ha’s New Video Attempts to Redefine the Term ‘Hard-core’So that “hard-core” and”glitter” are synonymous.
  25. close reading
    You Don’t Know Jack Poster Suggests You Do Know JackAnd he is a bad guy.