Vanderpump Rules

  1. Episode 24 Reunion, Part 3
    Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap: Divorce Reality Style The final part of this Vanderpump reunion was one of the worst reunion episodes I’ve ever seen.
  2. Episode 23 Reunion Part Two
    Vanderpump Rules Recap, Reunion Part Two: From the Mouths of Babes It’s hard to be both an authentic person and not a complete monster and still make good TV.
  3. Episode 22 Reunion Part One
    Vanderpump Rules Reunion Part One Recap: Lala Bland Possibly the healing can begin. But not quite yet.
  4. Episode 21 Introducing Mr. & Mrs. Schwartz
    Vanderpump Rules Season-Finale Recap: Along for the Bride Katie and Tom’s wedding is totally blah.
  5. Episode 20 Taco Tuesday, Wedding Wednesday
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Hubby Bubba I’m just going to come out and say it: I hate Katie’s wedding dress.
  6. Episode 19 Triple Trouble
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: O Brothers, Where Art Thou? I am absolutely obsessed with the Brothers Schwartz.
  7. Episode 18 Regrets Only
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: They Photo-Shoot Horses, Don’t They? What happened to James Kennedy and Lala?
  8. Episode 17 Drag Battle
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Tom Tom Club This episode is reality-television gold.
  9. Episode 16 Man Tears and Braziers
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Life Is a Drag Poor Tom Schwartz looks miserable at his bachelor party.
  10. Episode 15 Beads, Beers and Tears
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Big Easy What’s the point of a joint bachelor-bachelorette party?
  11. Episode 14 Into the Closet
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Fight Night Why in the world do Jax and Tom think that they can fit into Lisa Vanderpump’s clothes?
  12. Episode 13 Ambush
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Kennedy Curse A message for James: Nobody is jealous of your “perfect” hair.
  13. Episode 12 Jax’s Roast
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Roast Beast Presented without comment: Tom and Ariana have a “braid guy.”
  14. Episode 11 The D Pic
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Tenacious D What is Kristen doing in a sketch-comedy show?
  15. Episode 10 Summer House Rules
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Summertime Blues You win, Bravo. I’ll watch Summer House. Are you happy now?
  16. Episode 9 The Talk of Montauk
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Montauk Monsters Is it possible that Lala’s persona is some sort of reality-show Ponzi scheme?
  17. Episode 8 No Show
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Belly of the Breast The trip to Sonoma sounds like the worst trip in the world.
  18. Episode 7 The Sociopath Test
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Fa Lala Lala This whole Lala situation is just utterly ridiculous.
  19. Episode 6 Pride
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Pride and Prejudice Lala and Katie are despicable cowards.
  20. Episode 5 Cold Feet
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: May the Schwartz Be with You What, exactly, is going on with Tom’s bulge?
  21. Episode 4 Thirsty Girls
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Character Assassination Thank goodness that James Kennedy’s reign of terror has ended.
  22. Episode 3 Call It Like I See It
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Butt Steak Lala and Katie’s back-alley fight is an instant classic.
  23. Episode 2 What Went Down
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Dog Day Afternoon Why does everyone on this show sleep in their clothes?
  24. Episode 1 Summer Bodies
    Vanderpump Rules Season Premiere Recap: Inside Lala Land Was Tom Sandoval’s hair cursed by a very vengeful witch?
  1. Episode 24 Reunion Part 3
    Vanderpump Rules Reunion Finale Recap: Hasta la Pasta Why didn’t Andy Cohen ask if “pasta” is a code word for cocaine?
  2. Episode 23 Reunion Part 2
    Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap: Skylight’s the Limit Part two of the three-part reunion highlights the show’s complicated, confused stance on feminism.
  3. Episode 22 Reunion Part 1
    Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap: Daddy Tissues How is it that these kids, who consistently provide us with some of the most unpredictable drama on TV, can never deliver on a reunion special?
  4. Episode 21 Welcome to TomTom
    Vanderpump Rules Season-Finale Recap: Jax, a Dull Boy Let’s talk about Jax ostensibly quitting his job at SUR.
  5. Episode 20 Lost Cause
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Knocking Boots I can’t talk about Brittany and Jax’s fake breakup anymore.
  6. Episode 19 Reiki Breaky Heart
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Jax Off Of all the awful things that Jax has done, breaking up with Brittany is perhaps the most awful.
  7. Episode 18 Karma’s a Bitch
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Adiós Amigos I am ready for this season to end.
  8. Episode 17 The Smoking Gun
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Hot Tub Slime Machine Like all epic poems, this episode of Vanderpump Rules begins in medias res.
  9. Episode 16 SUR Going South
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Bottle Service If the Pump Rules cast actually starts growing up, then the rest of us are doomed.
  10. Episode 15 Nothing Here for Me
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Past Is Prelude Lala is the unexpected gem of this season.
  11. Episode 14 Watch Your Back
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Billie’s Idol Wait, did Vanderpump Rules just give the world a really good lesson about consent?
  12. Episode 13 Vegas! Baby?
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Funny Business Trip Aren’t there restaurant-supply companies in Los Angeles?
  13. Episode 12 Wishful Sinking
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Getting Robbed How messed up is it that Rob won’t dump Scheana?
  14. Episode 11 It’s All Happening
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Old Man Jax Is Jax in the middle of a mid-life crisis?
  15. Episode 10 Screams and Queens
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Birthday Brats Stassi, Kristen, and Katie are the three-headed Gorgon of bad birthdays.
  16. Episode 9 Call Me Jason
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: This Grill Is on Fire How in the world did Katie fall through a skylight?
  17. Episode 8 Best Mates
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: 3 Dollar Bills Guys, I feel really bad for James Kennedy’s friend Logan.
  18. Episode 7 It’s Not About the Pasta
    Vandperpump Rules Recap: Pasta La Vista, Baby James is totally overreacting to a silly prank.
  19. Episode 6 See You Next Tuesday
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Battle of the Sexless “When will women realize that Jax is not worth dating?”
  20. Episode 5 Sex, Lies, and Audiotape
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Shots to the Heart Damn it, Katie, stop being so decent!
  21. Episode 4 Absinthe-minded
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Lala’s Revenge Tom Schwartz is back in the hot seat.
  22. Episode 3 Back in the Saddle
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Beer Cheese Incident Something truly disgusting happens in this episode.
  23. Episode 2 Unfaithful
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Jax in the Box At long last, Jax finally admits to cheating on Brittany.
  24. Episode 1 Masquerade
    Vanderpump Rules Season Premiere Recap: Mask for Mask The big Jax revelation is so much crazier than expected.
  1. Episode 21 Rules of Engagement
    Vanderpump Rules Season Finale Recap: Fools in Love Jax and Brittany’s fairy-themed engagement party turns out to be a magnet for this series’ assorted couples drama.
  2. Episode 20 Brittany and the Beast
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Say Yes to Distress Brittany and Jax’s engagement party consumes a same-y episode that falls back on repeating the same old conflicts.
  3. Episode 19 The Exorcism of Stassi Schroeder
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: May the Schwartz Be With You As Lala, Kristen, and Stassi each take steps toward personal growth, Tom Schwartz’s commitment to boneheaded insanity feels refreshingly familiar.
  4. Episode 18 End of an Era
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Puppy Showers Bring No Flowers Even sadder than Raquel’s puppy party is that her ambitions to be a cast member are clearly being thwarted by her association with DJ James Kennedy.
  5. Episode 17 Fomo in Mexico
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Tequila Mockingbirds The trip to Mexico continues with lots of petty squabbles and messy behavior magnified by tequila (the cure for FOMO!).
  6. Episode 16 I Don’t Like the Sound of Your Voice
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: First Class Disaster With DJ James Kennedy not around for the Tom Tom opening or Mexico trip, the role of soul-sucking vortex of need will be played by Katie.
  7. Episode 15 Trouble in Lala-land
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Dead Dad’s Club Lala is not the only one to experience tragedy, she just seems to be the only who can’t experience empathy.
  8. Episode 14 Tom vs. Tom
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Uninvited If this were a daytime soap, James would be murdered next episode, because everyone on the show has a motive.
  9. Episode 13 Reptilian Brain
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Garbage Carter There is no amount of company that Carter can provide Kristen that will make up for the misery he inflicts on her.
  10. Episode 12 PJs on the PJ
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Lala Land This week’s episode is defined by a pileup of unhappy unions, both real and manufactured.
  11. Episode 11 Return of Crazy Kristen
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Kristen Be Trippin’ While Kristen shows off what an absolute mess she can be during the girls’ trip to Solvang, the boys have a comparatively tame night in L.A.
  12. Episode 10 So Vain in Solvang
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: PJ Party DJ James Kennedy’s mother Jacqueline continues to terrify and torture her son and viewers alike.
  13. Episode 9 Tom and Tommer
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Tom Tom Snub As Tom Tom prepares for its big debut, Lisa Vanderpump shows once again why she is a master of reality television.
  14. Episode 8 A Housewarming Divided
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Bye the Bi Ariana is right about so much this episode.
  15. Episode 7 Girls’ Night In
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Billie Lose My Number Oh, Billie Lee, when did you get like this?
  16. Episode 6 Love Thy Mother
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Mother of All Fights The aftermath of Stassi and Ariana’s birthday party is grim.
  17. Episode 5 Ice Queens
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Ice, Ice Babies Just because James and Jax are on their best behavior now doesn’t mean people are going to forget about their years of behaving badly.
  18. Episode 4 Lisa’s Dilemma
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fired Lisa’s second firing of DJ James Kennedy in three seasons is perfectly constructed reality TV drama.
  19. Episode 3 Either Him or Me
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Old Hollywood Sham How much more hate-able does DJ James Kennedy have to be before it stops being fun?
  20. Episode 2 Hope and Pride
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: James and the Giant Breach Is DJ James Kennedy abusive, or just a scumbag? The women of SUR are on the case!
  21. Episode 1 A Decent Proposal
    Vanderpump Rules Premiere Recap: The Gang’s All Hair As a new season dawns, the hairstyles may be different, but the petty fights are as stupid as ever.
  1. Episode 14 Shame Hangover
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Social Engagement Kristen is far from a perfect person, but she deserves something more than avoidance from her two best friends.
  2. Episode 13 Prank Wars
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Middle-Aged Blues When is a theme party not a theme party? When it’s Jax’s ’80s-themed 40th birthday party.
  3. Episode 12 All Daugs Go to Heaven
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: It’s a No From Me, Daug Now that Daug is dead and the wedding is over, we can focus on important things like the feud between Danica and Max.
  4. Episode 11 Introducing Mr. and Mrs. Cauchi
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Apocalypse Vow After about 86 million hours of parties leading up to the wedding, Jax and Brittany finally walk down the aisle — and then have more parties.
  5. Episode 10 Jax’s Last Hurrah
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Something Old, Something New Somehow, Jax and Brittany still haven’t gotten married — and as it turns out, neither have Tom and Katie.
  6. Episode 9 If You’re Going to Drink, I Can’t Stop You
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Textual Revolution If Raquel is acting, she has much improved since her failed improv about her “missed shift” at Pride.
  7. Episode 8 Ex-Best Friend, Ex-Best Man
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Uninvited Trying to understand what happens in Jax’s mind is like trying to work your way out of quicksand made of stale Twinkies and sewage.
  8. Episode 7 It’s Not About the Pastor
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: The Princess Bride I can’t even keep track of the number of sashes, headpieces, and white dresses Brittany’s worn at this point, and her wedding’s still two weeks away.
  9. Episode 6 Your Pride’s Showing
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Rainbow Not-So-Bright Scheana really can’t help embarrassing herself on a regular basis.
  10. Episode 5 Grumpy Old Men
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Grampy Panties This Miami trip is all about making up, with or without old-man prosthetics applied.
  11. Episode 4 Don’t Do It, Brittany
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Dress to Depress We’re back where we belong, watching Stassi have a series of never-ending fights with her closest friends over the pettiest of matters.
  12. Episode 3 Next Level Rage Texts
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Book ’Em, Dayna Scheana, along with Danica and Charli, are like the new witches of WeHo, trying to make sure that everyone hates Dayna.
  13. Episode 2 Training Days
    Vanderpump Rules Recap: Are You Being SUR-ved? It’s official: I do not understand this show anymore.
  14. Episode 1 There Goes the Neighborhood
    Vanderpump Rules Season-Premiere Recap: Hidden Valley Ranches The series returns with a bunch of new, unfamiliar faces at SUR and the growing sense that this show needs to be cleaved in two.

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